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Thursday, January 11, 2007
It's a weird feeling really.. knowing that I wont be able to be together with her much longer. Someone special that I shared the past nearly half a year with. All the ups and downs, all the experiences which will become memories. It hurts just thinking about it.. how will we part? Like in TV series, at the airport? Seems really cruel, how just walking around a corner at immigration will seal our fates. The last glimpse I'll ever have of her.. thats gotta be a hard step to take. Walking around that corner, behind the cold concrete wall. The pain really makes you know you're alive. Everyday that draws closer, seeing it coming but not being able to do anything about it. It really does suck. Now I kinda know what those cancer patients feel when they're told they have x amount of months/weeks left to live.
Regretting
- all the times that I could have spent with her, and I didn't
- all the times that I could make her smile, and I didn't
- all the times that I could make her laugh, and I didn't
- all the times that I could hug her and hold her hand, and I didn't
- all the times that I could talk to her on the phone till she fell asleep before me, and I didn't .............. cos I fell asleep first =(.................
- all the times that I could laugh at her jokes even if they weren't funny, and I didn't
- all the times that I could be by her side when she was sad, and I wasn't
- everything that I could be for her, and I wasn't
As the clock ticks by, and the number of days we have diminish, I find myself thinking about her more and more, happy memories constantly flooding my mind, smiling just as I think of them and then sometimes happiness turns to sadness. With that in mind, I want to treasure every moment I have with her, holding her, hugging her, being with her. Because it makes me happy. She means the world to me. At the end, when this chapter of our lives really comes to a close, I hope distance will not be a huge hurdle and that we might remain close, whether its just as friends, or something more than that, I just hope that everything we've built won't fall to bits.
Mel, the memories we had, both good and bad, I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for everything thats happened and sorry for everything that couldn't happen. Right now, as tears are building up in my eyes, I just wanna say I love you..
~ meje . @